What a crock, huh?

I’m talking movies for a second. I just finished watching… okay not the whole thing, because it started getting a little too stupid. Namely, an action movie starring one of the better little known actors. I like Jason Stratham as an actor, but some of the movies are so over the top in unrealistic stunts that they reach the ‘c’mon, man, really?’ level. Take the Terminator, for example. He walks through a hail of gunfire carrying a coffin and comes away more or less unscathed. Okay, that works, he’s a Terminator. We get it.

But, imagine you are in a junkyard building, and you seen an explosive device attached to the undercarriage of your car in the shadow of a puddle (who puts bright blinking red lights on a bomb they are trying to hide?) and the bad guys force you to get in your car and drive away under gunpoint. No problem! What do you do? You drive like hell as fast as you can, spot a crane with a hook on it hanging thirty feet in the air, and you launch your car off a pile of debris so it does a perfect, airborne barrel roll, and the hook manages to snare the explosive device before the bad guys hit the explode button, and manage to land the car, intact, without needing so much as an alignment check. How do you even script that in to a book?

Well I guess I did script it now did I. Bruce Highland would have never drove himself in to the hands of the bad guys like that to begin with. He would have either found a way to disarm the woman dressed in a negligee beside him holding two submachine guns to his head, or he would have reached the conclusion that since a thirty round magazine generally lasts about four to five seconds, she had to be out of ammo after a good forty seconds of sustained automatic gunfire, and by the way it is unrealistic to expect her to conceal another thirty round magazine beneath her thong undies without getting uncomfortably creative. I mean, c’mon, man!